3/365

Today is one of those days I am so proud of what an amazing mother I am (cough. cough, ha, ha)
I would like to write down things on my blog that will prove to the future me that I was always calm, collective and a downright awesome mother... all the time.  But, one of my biggest goals for 2012 is to be completely honest with myself (that post coming soon, I haven't gotten it all written yet), sooooo I guess the reality of my future me reading this and being able to see life through rose colored glasses will look a little tainted today.

Here's how my attitude has been today.  In two short words, I can sum it up with BAD & SELFISH!!

Here's how it all went down.
My kids have been out of school for Christmas break for nearly 2 weeks.  At first it was fun and exciting, but about 5 days ago, I was sooooo ready for them to get back to school.  The fun times, parties, eating nothing but junk, staying up late, too many hours playing video games had taken its toll and I am ready for some structure again.  I was so happy to finally have them be back in school today! I did a bit of a happy dance yesterday when I thought how wonderful today was going to be with 3 kids in school and one napping.  AHHHHHHH, the silence is music to my ears.  (I think it's a little too obvious how much I love my alone time each day!)

So, I happily got the kids to bed last night, laid all their school clothes nicely on their beds, had them have showers, brushed their teeth, you know... the whole routine, the happily sat on the couch and started blogging. (Ahhhh, It's that alone time I was just talking about! Heaven I tell you! Heaven!!!. I don't want it for forever, just a couple sweet hours every day... that's all)

I was about 15 minutes into blogging bliss when it started. What started you ask? That thing that seems to happen EVERY SINGLE NIGHT BEFORE MY KIDS START BACK UP TO SCHOOL!!!!!  Literally, every time!
I hear footsteps down the hall, then a child (this time Kaden) coming into the family room complaining he doesn't feel well.  (this time it was due to his ear hurting really bad)
Being the amazing mother I am, (because I want my alone time), I quickly told him to go back to bed and try to get some sleep and dad would look at it when he got home, because he always knows how to fix that kind of stuff.  (I wish that was the real reason I sent him on his way, but it was really because I was already getting a little annoyed as to where this was going to lead.... you know... another day out of school)

So off he went like a perfectly obedient child into his room.  About a half hour went by and he came in again, this time almost in tears. Being the compassionate mom I am, I doped him up with some tylenol and sent him back to bed.  If we are being truly honest here, I don't think I even gave him a hug goodnight or anything....oh man, I am a good mom aren't I?)

I think the Tylenol helped a bit because I didn't hear anything from him till about 3am.  At that point, he came into our room crying that he was hurting again. I let him sleep with me for a bit until every time I shut my eyes, I heard, "owww, owwww, oh it hurts, owwwwwwwww, ahhhhhhhhhh, owwwwwww!" (yes, music to my ears in the middle of the night).
I rushed him out of my bed, threw some more tylenol at him and sent him back to his bed.  But in the meantime, he had woken up Connor, Avery and Brian with his "owwwww, owwww, owwww-ing".
Oh boy.... 3:45 am and I have 3 kids awake... this is going to be a fun night!
I got the 2 non-sick kids back to bed, and sent Kaden to his own bed.  I layed my very tired head on the pillow and began to drift into peaceful quiet dream land, when I heard, "owwwwwwww, owwwwwww, owwwwwww, mom, owwwwwwww, owwwwwwww, mom, mom, owwwwwwww" coming from Kaden's room. Oh my gosh, at this rate, he's going to wake up Brighton his time and the other two kids again.
I got up, told him to get out of bed and we headed upstairs to sleep on the love sacs in the play room.  (note to self:  Love sacs are only comfortable for about 30 minutes.  Don't ever spend the whole night sleeping on them.)  Also, if you have a kid that's a little dramatic (sorry dude.... you are a bit of a baby when you are sick... it's the ugly truth... you could toughen up a bit and I think you'd do just fine), don't ask them what you could do to help them.  If you do, you might get a conversation a bit like this.... AT 5:00 IN THE FRIEKIN MORNING!!!!!
      Mom:  Kade, what can I do for you to help you feel better? Do you want a drink?
      Kade: in a whisper... a little like he is about to die, "yeahhhh"
      Mom:  K- I will get you some water.
(I go down and get a water bottle, fill it up and bring it up to him)
    meanwhile.... the melodic "owwwwwwwww, owwwwww, owwww" continues every 5 seconds
                                     I deal with it for about a half hour, then.....
     Mom: Kade,  you really need to get to sleep, I know you will feel better if you just fall asleep.
     Kade: But it hurts.
     Mom: What can I do for you bud?
     Kade: You could get me some water that's cold. This is too warm.
     Mom: (I didn't say anything, but OH MY GOSH!!!!!! Cold water? Really? This coming from a kid who hates to put ice in his drinks?  Seriously????) Ya right, I am not going back downstairs to give him cold water. (remember... we have been up nearly all night at this point) His water was not warm.. It was just fine. The way he always drinks it.
     Mom:  Kade, you don't need colder water, please just go to sleep. You have got to stop whining about how much it hurts because you are making it worse.  (I don't know if it really makes it worse, but I was about to lose it, so I had to come up with something!)

So that's how one of our conversations went last night.  Nice huh?

After a couple tv shows to get his mind off the pain, a few internet searches on home remedies to help with ear infections, heat pads and hot towels on his ear and a whole lot of whining because of his ears, I finally told him we were going to say a prayer to help him feel better, and then he HAD to get some sleep.  (I think it was nearly 6 am by this point), but we got a couple hours of sleep, then headed to the doc this morning for an antibiotic for the ear infection.  Thus... another day I have a kid who is not in school.  But, the good news??? You know the rule at our house if you don't go to school??? You stay in bed ALL DAY LONG!  (and he needed it. The poor kid is exhausted and hurting... sleep will do him some good)
So as I'm writing this post, two kids are in school, the oldest and youngest are asleep and I still got a little "me" time this afternoon after all.  Maybe it would have been more productive to do something other than re-capping my day to remind me of how loving I was....not.  I've had time to reflect on how proud I am of my selflessness the past 18 hours. I wish I could say I was this loving parent who cuddled her kid back to health (or at least to sleep) but I didn't. I just got more irritated by the realization that he would not be going to school today.  I started to ignore the "owwww" song and lost any type of sympathy for the fact that he was hurting. I became more impatient than comforting because of the dramatic whining...
boy, I am loving myself right now! I am so awesome, I can hardly believe it!.... I really think I will be getting that Mother of the Year award today.  I guess if writing all this down has done anything, it's helped me vent a bit and I think I will be a bit more patient with the sick little guy when he wakes up.... that's if the "owwww, owwww, owwww" single has finally gone off the charts.

So, future me.... Great Moms aren't perfect moms.... Great moms aren't even great moms alot of the times.  But moms are moms... good with the bad, tired and sometimes energized, on their "A" games and many times being benched, but most importantly, we are in the game and we love it and don't want it to come to an end. That's the HONEST truth.

and a little side note to Future Kaden:
You probably still are a little whimpy when you are sick... But to your defense, I think most boys are.  You are still one awesome, adorable kid who I love so very much, and I will always stay up all night with you so you don't have to be alone when you are feeling sick.... even if I do end up writing crazy blog posts about you wanting colder water the next day.  I love you buddy! You're the greatest.