WHY I LOVE BEING A MOM

As you read in my last post, my mom hated mothers day growing up... I am not to that point in my life with my kids just yet (Thank Goodness... I am DREADING the day I realize my kids are no longer those cute, innocent little sweethearts they are now)

So, since I am very optimistic that my mothers day will be pretty darn good (knock on wood), I want to write down some of the reasons I love being a mom in 2008.
#1- Those awesome people in the picture above!
#2- Avery coming in every morning with out stretched arms saying "mommy!!!!!"
#3- Brighton's smile
#4- Kaden's never ending compassion
#5- Staying home to be with my kids and watch them learn
#6- (Brian allowing me to do so)
#7- Sitting in bed at night at staring our conversations with.., "you'll never believe what the kids did/said today"
#8- Their innocence
#9- Their Spirits
#10- The funny things they say
#11- How Kaden and Avery play hide and seek
#12- How they get excited when Brighton wakes up from his nap or how they run to tell me he's crying
#13- Avery's laugh and huge smile
#14- Kadens amazing eyes
#15- Brighton's funny cough when he is trying to let out a fake cry
#16- How excited they get when they see their grandparents
#17- When Brian comes home and Avery says, "DADDY'S HOME!"
#18- Because I have an incredible husband to share this time with... who's even a better dad
#19- Cuddle Time
#20- Watching the kids conduct FHE
#21- Avery's Mischief (yes... I really just said that!)
#22- Kaden's obsessions to all things "boy" (rockets,trains,cars)
#23- That I have girlfriends that are going through all this with me
#24-The spontaneous hugs, kisses, and I love you's from my kids
#25- Every day I get to wake up and know I will learn something from them that will make me see life just a little bit better.

Happy Mothers Day Mom

Growing up my mom HATED mothers day. She always went to church with 6 roudy kids just to listen to speakers talk about how wonderful their lives were as mothers. In the mean time, my poor mother was trying desperatly to keep us from fighting, pinching, pulling hair, screaming or laughing too hard at our ward chorister (who was always made us laugh for some reason). All while my dad was up on the stand trying not to look down at us because he would get the "look of death" from my mom having to deal with all our "perfectness" by herself. Mothers day was no vacation - just another day to be a mom.
Now that all 6 of those kids are grown, I hope my mom finally gets a chance to sit and listen to the Mothers Day talks and do a few things:
1) Sit back and smile a little when it's other mom's children causing irreverance (ya... those would be my kids)
2) Still sitting alone... (dad's on the stand as always) but I hope she can listen to the thoughts being shared
3) Most importantly, I hope she can see that all those years of hard work, struggle, elastic flips, and snaps that took away our dessert for bad behavior has molded her children BECAUSE SHE IS A GREAT MOM! I hope she listens to the speakers and can say... "you know what? Being a mom is awesome! I did the best I could and I am proud of who my kids have become".

I hope she says that because she played a HUGE part in how each one of my siblings and myself became who we are today. I don't think she gets the credit she deserves for the hard work she has done and continues to do each day to try and keep our family close as friends, as well as continue to strive to continue to grow and be better individuals. She is the most determined, focused individual I have ever met! She works hard, she touches so many lives and she always is doing something to better herself and bring her closer to the Savior.
There's never a holiday, birthday, anniversary that she doesn't forget. We still get Lucky Charms on our door step on St. Patricks Day because that was one of the only sugar cereals we got growing up because it was a holiday. She worries and prays for us, hugs her grand children, and is ALWAYS there to serve. Even when I don't ask, she's at my door with open arms. She is my best friend, my mentor, my example.
If I am any kind of a good mom it's because of her. I hope that I can be even 1/2 the mom she's been to me.
Happy Mothers Day Mom... I love you.

Concerned Big Brother

So, I had a little surgery this week... nothing serious, but it still was no fun all the same. I had 3 kidney stones removed. For some dumb reason, my body keeps producing these things. I tell you what.. I'd SO MUCH rather give birth than pass stones. They hurt really bad.
Anyway, so I went in for surgery on Tuesday and they told me I couldn't breast feed for a few sessions because of the anesthesia. So, I got up yesterday and I was giving Brighton a bottle. Kaden came in and said, "Mom, why aren't you feeding Brighton from your boob?". I proceeded to tell him that I had some medicine in me that Brighton would drink if I fed him (from my boob). He was happy with that answer. Then later on, I was nursing Bright and Kaden came in and looked frantic.. he said, (almost yelling), "Mom.... what about the medicine???" He was so concerned that Brighton was going to drink it.
Then later last night, I was taking some pain pills and I had them on the counter. Kaden once again saw the pills and said, "mom... what are those?" I told him, and he got a worried look and said, "but mom, if you take the medicine, Brighton won't be able to eat from your boob"!
Oh my gosh! It was so cute how concerned he was for his brother and at the same time hilarious that he kept saying "your boob". Kids are too sweet! I just love them to death!

Life Lessons from the Book of Mormon

It's amazing how much you can learn in church when you actually listen! My usual Sunday is filled with chasing children down the hall, hushing them while in class, or in the mothers room nursing my baby. Unfortunatly, it's usually far from spiritual and uplifting. But today, I got a break.
I was in Sunday School and we were talking about King Benjamin in the Book of Mormon. King Benjamin was an incredible king who served his people faithfully and righteously. In the book of Mosiah, King Benjamin is teaching his sons about the God, religion and prophesies that had been given.
Anyway, our Sunday School Teacher (the best one I've ever had by the way), started talking about the importance of being parents. How we need to raise our children and teach them the words of Christ. Then he read a passage of scripture that gave me one of those "ah ha" moments. He read in Mosiah Chapter 1 vs. 3

"And it came to pass that he had three sons; and he called their names Mosiah, and Helorum, and Helaman. And he caused that they should be taught in all the language of his fathers, that thereby they "MIGHT BECOME MEN OF UNDERSTANDING"; and that they might know concerning the prophecies which had been spoken by the mouths of their fathers, which delivered them by the hand of the Lord"....

So anyway, the teacher then asked how we as parents could raise our children to become men/women of understanding. Answers followed such as the teaching by example, honesty, love of others, humility, to love the Savior (and so forth)
As we read this scripture and I listened to the suggestions people were giving, I looked deeply into my own life. Am I teaching my children to become men/women of understanding? How am I accomplising this? Am I doing enough? Am I, myself becoming a women of understanding?
(So many questions and thoughts- and then the light clicked on in my head)

I think the reason this verse hit me so hard is because my VERY FAVORITE verse of scripture in the Book of Mormon is in
Alma 17:2-3
Part of it reads: "Now the sons of Mosiah were with Alma at the time the angel first appeared unto him; therefore Alma did rejoice exceedingly to see his brethren; and what added more to his joy, that they were still his brethren in the Lord; yea, they had waxed strong in the knowledge of the truth; for they WERE MEN OF A SOUND UNDERSTANDING, and they had searched the scriptures diligently, that they might know the word of God.

Years ago after returning from my mission, I made that verse of scripture my life long goal. By the time I leave this earth, I want to have the SOUND UNDERSTANDING that these men have. I've tried hard in my life to continue to learn and do good so that I can have this perfect understanding of the gospel and our purposes on earth. At times (especially now as a mom with 3 little guys) I haven't taken as much time and thought into studying and focusing on the Lord as much as I should, and I get frustrated.
But today, I had a sense of energy. A desire to work harder... not just for myself, but for my family. (Here's the ah ha moment of this long story)
So it hit me as we had just read the scripture of King Benjamin wanting to teach his sons so that they "MIGHT become men of understanding"... Benjamin... as a father, wanted to teach his sons so they had a path to follow. So that they would love and serve the Lord. That is exactly what we are trying to do everyday with our own children. We are teaching them so they "MIGHT become men/women of understanding". In order to teach them, we need to be living in such a way that we too "MIGHT have sound understanding.
Then it hit me.. my favorite verse reads, "for they WERE men of sound understanding"! OH MY GOSH!!! A light bulb went off in my head. The teachings of King Benjamin to his sons (Mosiah in particular) had paid off. Mosiah had become an amazing prophet, and his son had served the Lord as one of the greatest missionaries in the book of mormon. It was no longer the word "MIGHT have understanding" but now is "they WERE men of sound understanding"! All of this because of the righteous teachings of a loving dad who knew how to teach his children in the way of the Lord.
I was so touched by this little bit of insight today. Something that I needed to hear to remind me of my own personal goal and to remember that I have an incredible responsibility to teach my children about our Savior and the life He lead in order for us to return to Him someday as a family. I have been so blessed in my life to have parents who have "sound understanding". They have always and continue to work to teach us. They live their lives in a way that make me and my siblings want to be better... even in adulthood. Because of their teachings, I believe we are all striving for "sound understanding" and in return, are teaching our own children what is right. I am blown away and humbled by the power I have as a parent to teach my kids what is right. It is by my own understanding that they will be taught. What a challenge and blessing it is to be a mom. I realize how much I still have to do for myself to be the good example I want to be for my kids so that they will become men/women of sound understanding.
Ahhh!! I love this life! I love "ah ha" moments that make me want to be better. I hope that I can be that great example I want to be for my amazing kids even when they have families of their own.

The Best Medicine is Great Girlfriends

Last weekend I went down to St. George with a few girlfriends. What a blast we had!! I've never been one to take time out for myself and head out of town with just the girls, but Oh my Gosh!! It is just what the doctor ordered!!

It was so nice just to lay out by the pool for 3 days, read (well sortof), shop, laugh, and laugh some more, eat out, and smile when we heard kids crying and got to joyfully lay back in our chairs knowing they weren't our kids! There were moments I felt as if I was a crazy high school girl again, and then there were moments that I was so happy to be who I am at this time in my life and the experiences I've had that have gotten me this far. It's amazing how a bunch of friends can bring out the best, the wildest, the crazy and fun sides out in you as well as help you remember who you are as a mother, wife, church member, and friend.

I am SO GRATEFUL for my girlfriends. Not very many times in my life have I felt such a NEED for them. As I get older and am in the heart of raising my kids, I realize how much I VALUE my friends, how much I LOVE them, and how GRATEFUL I am for their wisdom and life experiences. I hope in 30 years from now, we will still have the opportunity to laugh, act like high school girls, lay out by the pool and spend a little time away... just the girls.

Avery's Funny Sleep Positions

Avery got a new toddler bed and I think she has enjoyed her new found freedom. In a matter of a few days, I found her in several different spots sound asleep. I think she just played and played until she couldn't take it anymore. One place I found her a couple different times was right behind her bedroom door. I wish I could have found a way to get into her room to take those pictures.

Follow up on Avery's Artwork

So, as you all saw, Avery did beautiful artwork on my couches. The video didn't do it justice. It was a lot worse than it looked. Not to mention it was Red, Blue and Green PERMANENT marker! My brother used to work for Chem Dry, so when it happened, I called him and he said that I'd probably make it worse if I tried to fix it myself so just call someone to get it out... so $120 later, I now have a semi clean couch. They could get the green and red out, but for some reason, the blue wouldn't come out. It's faded a ton, but you can still see it. That's one expensive piece of artwork! One thing I forgot to mention, when I saw the marker, I went over to the couch and gasped (of course). Then I started calling for Avery. I think she knew she wasn't supposed to do that because she was hiding under our kitchen table not making a sound! It was pretty funny actually. The best thing about it is that Kaden ratted her out. Kaden found her and said, "MOM, she's under the table!" (So much for having a protective brother!)

So, I've decided to start a "destruction" list of all the things AVery gets into. Just last week she drew on my couch (as you all saw), rolled out two different rolls of toilet paper all over the house, got into a bag of tiny rocks that were supposed to go in her fish tank and "played" in them all over her carpet, spilled a box of Cheerios, and dumped out a whole container of conditioner in the bathtub for "bubbles". She's just so curious right now. Good thing she is so cute!

We'll see what next week brings.

This needs no explanation

Funny Kids

Avery is quite the "accesory" type of gal. She is totally into shoes, earrings, nail polish, bags, jackets and hats. She's the girl my mom always wished I would have been.
Anyway... this is Avery the other day. She insisted on wearing her backpack, jacket and shoes (even though you can't see them) as she ate breakfast. The funny thing is that she still has her jammies on underneath all this! What a girl!! I think I'm going to have my hands full with this one!

This is Kaden during his "nap". I came in to check on him and found the bed torn apart and him lying inclined on his bed. It's amazing what kids come up with when they have some time to themselves without the TV on. I just thought it was funny that he went to all this work to tear his bed apart, and then still fell asleep. Kids are too darn funny.

Brighton's Baby Blessing

Brian did a great job on the baby blessing. It was such a wonderful day as we spent most of it with family and friends. Bright is a special little boy and we feel so blessed to have him with us. He is starting to smile so much and it makes our day! Even the kids run over to watch him when he's smiling!
After the blessing at church, we all came back here for lunch. Thank you everyone who brought yummy treats! It was a fun afternoon and even cooler that my family stuck around and cleaned up for me! I gotta love my mom! She's always there for me.

Thanks

Yeah! I figured it out!!! Thank you everyone for your great tips.

HELP!!!

For those of you who think it's so easy to change your backgrounds.... I need your help. I can't figure it out. I can get into the HTML and I think I know where to change the code, but it's not working. What am I doing wrong?
Call Me!!! Write Me, Email Me... Anything! I need major help. It's driving me crazy.

WEAR GREEN

EPIPHANY (warning.. it's deep)

Today I had an unexpected epiphany, in the most unexpected places....
For months now, I have been wanting to try out a new Yoga/Tai-Chi class at the gym. I had taken a class years ago in college, but nothing since then, so... I am VERY MUCH a beginner. (Downward Dog made my legs shake, that's how new I am to this stuff)

Anyway, the class was amazing. Not only did I feel rejuvenated and relaxed after the hour barefoot in a dimmed room, I actually had a spiritual experience. Now, I've heard that yoga does do that to some people, but never really believed it... until today.
So I am in the class, trying very hard to focus on the moves as well as clearing my mind of the daily grind that often floods all parts of my brain. The instructor has us go to the "salute to the sun" position. As I did it.... my epiphany hits me like a ton of bricks. As I stood there, void of stresses in my life reaching up toward the ceiling, I felt this overwhelming love from my Father in Heaven. I felt as if there was no ceiling at all and I was truly giving myself to God, talking with Him, and LETTING GO of the need to do things on my own. I found myself no longer void of thought, but giving thanks for all that I have. I felt as though for just a moment, as I posed in "salute to the sun" that it was not the sun I was saluting, but Heavenly Father. Saluting HIM who has given me so much, I realized I do not allow He who knows me best to help me in my life as much as I should. I go on day to day very independent. Not wanting the help from others... even my husband at times. I am strong willed, I like to be in control, and like to have things my way. (I've often been told I have a "big wall" around me in which it's difficult to break through.) I have gotten used to this way of life, and have in many ways forgotten how to "humble myself to the Lord".
Now as I had my head held high and arms "Saluting My God", I realized that in so many instances in life, we are either looking , straight ahead of us with the things we have to get done, or we are looking down, discouraged or tired from a long day. But how often are we looking UP? How often do we take the time to stop, breath, raise our head and arms and "salute" HE who has given us everything. HE who can heal our pain. HE who can allow us joy and HE who is there to help and guide us? When I look straight ahead or when I look down, I realize I usually forget to look UP. UP to HIM who is there for me. In reality, that is the ONLY direction my head should be... the other things fall in place on their own after that.
Wow... all that from one yoga pose... So I guess now I must say that, YES... yoga can be somewhat of a "spiritual journey". At least it was today. Much like anything I guess; when you allow your self to get rid of the daily "noise" that fills our heads and just let go. It is then that TRUTH and HUMILITY can fill your soul.

The Death of Me!!

Well, I'm back from a week long hiatus. I slacked off last week trying to get my life back in order after a week long hospital stay with Brighton. Now that I'm back, I'm blogging about my BIGGEST spring time weakness... I love spring time because it's finally getting warm. It's beautiful outside and the stores stock their shelves with Cadbury Mini Eggs. Oh my gosh!!! These little devils are the death of me!! I could eat a whole bag in a day if I'd let myself. I've gained 6 pounds in the last two and half weeks (only part of that can be blamed on eating crappy while Brighton was in the hospital) the other part is entirely because of these sinfully delicious little eggs. Man just talking about them makes me want to run to my pantry. Once this bag is gone... no more for me! (we'll see how long that motivation lasts)
Best be off to the gym.

We're Home!

After 6 days at Primary Children's, we're finally home. Brighton finally handled being off oxygen on Sunday. After they monitered him for 24 hours to see if he could keep his levels up we were free to come home.
I am so happy we have doctors and nurses that know what they are doing and can take care of our loved ones when we can't do it ourselves. As bad as I felt that he had to be in the hospital, he couldn't have been in a better place. Everyone there was just wonderful. We are so blessed to have him home and that he's feeling better. Now that he's home, I might be going a little crazy because they want us to stay at home for the next 2-3 weeks, but oh well... at least I've got my blogging friends. You guys will all be my social life for a while (I guess that's not much different from now anyway) :)

Thank you all for your concern and love for us. Especially mine and Brian's parents. We couldn't have done any of this without you guys. Wow... it's sure a blessing to have great family who can come to your aid in a seconds notice. We love you guys.

3:30 AM

The title of this post says it all, but since I'm here, I will give an update.
It's now Sunday afternoon. We've been here since Tuesday. I've decided Brighton just likes this 5 star resort a little too much to want to come home yet.
He's stayed about the same the last day and a half. He's on a very small amount of oxygen now which is great, but he can't seem to wean off of that amount. He's great off the oxygen for a few hours, then he needs it again (bummer). He's also still has a quite a bit of mucas down in his chest and in his nose so they are still suctioning him every couple hours. In order for him to come home, he's got to be off oxygen for 12 hours and not have to have a deep suction for 24 hours. So as of right now, he's still on oxygen and he's already been suctioned 3 times today... so odds are we're here another day or two.
Luckily, he is feeling much better though. He is awake and alert a lot more (even at 3 am :) as you can see above). He's even started smiling a little bit! He hasn't really done that yet, so it's fun to see him reach that milestone in his life. He's so much better than he was a few days ago so luckily the hard part is over.
Thank you all for thinking about us and praying for us. It's so comforting to know we've got such great friends and family watching over us!
Love you all. I'll keep you all updated.

Our Little Doctors

Kaden and Avery have been little troopers since Brighton's had my one on one attention up here. For the most part, they have been doing well. It broke my heart last night when Kaden called me on the phone and said, "Mommy, when are you coming home forever?"
There is just so much a 4 year old can understand, you know? The staff here at Primaries have been so great! We have had amazing nurses that have gone out of their way to make sure we understand everything that's going on. They have done all this for our kids too. Last Friday was the first time the kids came up. They have a program here where they teach the siblings about the hospital and what is going on with their little brother. They give them dolls and let them play "doctor". The lady helping them gives them a doctor bag with all the different wires and stickers that are on Brighton so when they see him, it won't look as scary. The kids are then able to put on the different wires on their dolls. They are also able to play with other tools doctors use to make their brother feel better. It was so neat to see them interact with their dolls. I was so impressed with the staff here and their thoughfullness in making sure the siblings feel comfortable.
So now Kaden and Avery have been up here a couple times and they love playing doctor. Kaden gives us all shots and medicine. Avery... well, she just likes to play peek a boo in the curtains. She's the "playful" nurse that keeps everyone happy. Those are very much needed around here, so I guess Avery does a great job!
I'm so proud of these little guys. It's hard to be moved around and away from your parents. They are so great. I am a very lucky mom to have all these great kids.

Things are looking up

Brighton got moved out of the intensive care yesterday afternoon!! YEAH!!!!
We are now up in the pediatric unit here at primary children's hospital. Yesterday was a great day for Brighton. He continues to do better with his breathing. He got off the heavy duty oxygen (high flow) yesterday morning and they put him on the normal oxygen. Once he could handle that, they moved him up to where he is now. Now today, they've decreased the oxygen support even more and took his feeding tube out!! Now is the fun job of trying to get him to nurse again after 4 days! He's doing pretty well with it though.
Speaking of nursing, this has been one of those things that has kept me laughing up here. I honestly feel like a cow going in to get milked. Since he's been on a feeding tube, I haven't been able to nurse him, so I've had to pump. They have these "pumping rooms" here at the hospital. You go in with your bag of parts, sit in a booth, close the curtain and hook yourself up to your milking machine. (mooooooo) j/k It makes me laugh, but I'm glad they've got a place to do that... it's just funny. Luckily there are things that can make you look on the bright side right?
I am so happy he's doing better. It was a couple pretty rough days for him and just yesterday everything started to improve. It's amazing how fast they can get sick and how fast they can start feeling better as well. Let's just pray he continues to do better so we can get home soon.

Life in the NICU

Brighton is doing a little better today! They were able to lower his oxygen amounts for most of the day yesterday which is great. Yesterday they put a feeding tube in him so he's getting some nutrition, but he's really hungry. When I hold him he's a little upset for a while because I think he "smells" me. Luckily he calms down so we can cuddle for a while. The best news we've had so far is that the respiratory therapist came in and took him off the high powered oxygen about an hour ago and now he's just on normal oxygen. If he can stay stabilized on that, then he'll get out of the NICU in a few hours and onto the normal floor! YEAH! We're thinking he's on the up hill side of this nasty virus now!

He's a tropper. We just love this guy so much!