I'm a little nervous posting this as it's my second post on my blog.... but I'm among friends right? I just hope you've all gone through it before and can sympathize!!!
So here it goes.... I think all I really need to say is yesterday was Sunday. I could probably stop there and for all you "church goers" that have toddlers, you'd understand completely. But for the sake of a story (and a well needed venting session) I will continue.
So it all starts Sunday morning. Kaden our 4 year old is practicing his part for his first ever Primary Program at church. He has flawlessly memorized his part to 100% cuteness. Soon he will go to church and blow the congregation away by his singing abilities and cute speaking part. You know the kids... the ones who sing so loud you can't hear everyone else and makes everyone laugh? Ya... that was the picture in my mind of how this was going to turn out.
The morning went quite smoothly which was short of a miracle since I had final touches on my Young Women's lesson to prepare, kids to get ready, choir to go to, lunch to make and of course stock up the diaper bag with all sorts of interesting things to keep Avery in the pew and not run up to the front of the church (non of them work by the way).
We get to church, the kids go to their classes without a problem, and I actually taught a pretty good lesson on being "Optimistic" to the teenage girls. I was feeling pretty good about the day so far, and getting more excited for the upcoming primary program that was soon to take place. I even left Sunday school early to get a "good seat" so I could see my angel perfectly.
The exciting moment finally arrived. There is cute Kaden looking all grown up sitting with his class in a few pews ahead of us. He was anxiously looking for his aunt, uncle and grandma who had come just to watch his program. The meeting started and things looked good. His class was the first to give their speaking part (which they were all supposed to say together). These cute 4 year olds reverently went up to the microphone and stood there waiting for their teachers cue to begin. Kaden on the other hand went straight to the microphone, and before any of the other kids could talk, spoke his part fearlessly.... "MY FAITH IN JESUS CHRIST GROWS WHEN I KNOW WHO HE IS". We all giggled a little (yes!!! the response I imagined in my head) as the kids quielty went back to their seats. The songs he's been practicing all year were his next big part. I knew he would steal the show!!!
THEN REALITY HIT..........................
The overexcited mother (me) saw that her prodigy of a son (Kaden) was not singing any of the songs. He wasn't sitting quietly, He wasn't even being reverent. He kept coming back to me saying he wanted to sit with me and didn't want to sing the songs. When I finally talked him back into sitting up with his class to finish his program, he fell over another kids foot and bumped his head and was crying. (This was all at the same time Avery had already tried to run away, thrown books at the peoples heads in front of us and was no longer willing to sit down... even if Grandma and her favorite aunt were siting right beside her). So Avery is out in the hall with Brian, I run to rescue crying Kaden from his teacher and go out in the hall with him. Brian and I at that point try and reason with him that his grandma and aunt and uncle came all this way to listen to him sing and that they were sad because they weren't able to hear him... (you know the routine). Nothing was working. Brian then told him he could wear his special watch and when the numbers turned to 4:00 then he would be done and could come back and sit with us. What a great idea right??? Well, we thought it was. Feeling quite confident about our new plan, I knew he would go back in and sing his heart out until the program was over.
THEN REALITY HIT..... AGAIN...
For the next 20 minutes all he did was worry about the stupid watch and what time it was. Then he got all the other kids around him more interesed in his daddy's watch so they were now more concerned about the watch instead of being reverent.
REALIZATION HIT AGAIN... BUT THIS TIME FOR ME!!!
When you've got toddlers.... CHURCH IS NOT A PLACE OF PEACE ---- IT'S REALLY MORE LIKE HELL.
(Sorry, I hope I don't get struck down for that one)
We finally got out of church and my dreams of my beautiful 4 year old participating in his first primary program were shattered with the reality that it was just like any other Sunday except now I was not only frazzled and frustrated (like normal after 3 hours of church with kids) but I was also embarrased that he didn't perform well for his family who came to watch and was very difficult for his teacher who had to try and take care of him and 8 other 4 year olds for the whole hour. AHHHHHH!!
NOW... WHY I WISH I WAS MALE
I don't know if it's because I'm pregnant and tired, or I just have typical emotions of a woman, but I never got over being frazzled. The day just seemed to get worse. When I couldn't take it any more, I found my self going to bed and 9:00 pm crying over what a terrible mom I was that I couldn't get my kid to sing in church and not wiggle. My life seemed to be all doom and gloom.... and this after I had just taught a lesson on being optimistic in life not 12 hours earlier!!!!! WOMEN!! If I were a man, I would have gotten over it or just tuned it all out and probably went and watched football or something. Instead, it's Monday morning, I woke up with a monster headache, tired from a restless nights sleep, and a big pile of laundry waiting for me in my closet!
BEING A MOM IS AWESOME.... REALLY!!!
Thank you all for listening to my very long venting session. Luckily, my kids as hard as they are, seemed to know I needed something a little special this morning. Avery smothered me with hugs and kisses for no reason, and Kaden woke up and just wanted to lay and cuddle in the warm covers. And as we speak, while I'm needing a little mommy time, Kaden is in his room quietly reading a book to his little sister. They truly are the greatest thing in my life, even when they are your greatest struggle. (This paragraph is the part when I am looking at the positive in life.... I guess I gotta practice what I preach!)
