We're Home!

After 6 days at Primary Children's, we're finally home. Brighton finally handled being off oxygen on Sunday. After they monitered him for 24 hours to see if he could keep his levels up we were free to come home.
I am so happy we have doctors and nurses that know what they are doing and can take care of our loved ones when we can't do it ourselves. As bad as I felt that he had to be in the hospital, he couldn't have been in a better place. Everyone there was just wonderful. We are so blessed to have him home and that he's feeling better. Now that he's home, I might be going a little crazy because they want us to stay at home for the next 2-3 weeks, but oh well... at least I've got my blogging friends. You guys will all be my social life for a while (I guess that's not much different from now anyway) :)

Thank you all for your concern and love for us. Especially mine and Brian's parents. We couldn't have done any of this without you guys. Wow... it's sure a blessing to have great family who can come to your aid in a seconds notice. We love you guys.

3:30 AM

The title of this post says it all, but since I'm here, I will give an update.
It's now Sunday afternoon. We've been here since Tuesday. I've decided Brighton just likes this 5 star resort a little too much to want to come home yet.
He's stayed about the same the last day and a half. He's on a very small amount of oxygen now which is great, but he can't seem to wean off of that amount. He's great off the oxygen for a few hours, then he needs it again (bummer). He's also still has a quite a bit of mucas down in his chest and in his nose so they are still suctioning him every couple hours. In order for him to come home, he's got to be off oxygen for 12 hours and not have to have a deep suction for 24 hours. So as of right now, he's still on oxygen and he's already been suctioned 3 times today... so odds are we're here another day or two.
Luckily, he is feeling much better though. He is awake and alert a lot more (even at 3 am :) as you can see above). He's even started smiling a little bit! He hasn't really done that yet, so it's fun to see him reach that milestone in his life. He's so much better than he was a few days ago so luckily the hard part is over.
Thank you all for thinking about us and praying for us. It's so comforting to know we've got such great friends and family watching over us!
Love you all. I'll keep you all updated.

Our Little Doctors

Kaden and Avery have been little troopers since Brighton's had my one on one attention up here. For the most part, they have been doing well. It broke my heart last night when Kaden called me on the phone and said, "Mommy, when are you coming home forever?"
There is just so much a 4 year old can understand, you know? The staff here at Primaries have been so great! We have had amazing nurses that have gone out of their way to make sure we understand everything that's going on. They have done all this for our kids too. Last Friday was the first time the kids came up. They have a program here where they teach the siblings about the hospital and what is going on with their little brother. They give them dolls and let them play "doctor". The lady helping them gives them a doctor bag with all the different wires and stickers that are on Brighton so when they see him, it won't look as scary. The kids are then able to put on the different wires on their dolls. They are also able to play with other tools doctors use to make their brother feel better. It was so neat to see them interact with their dolls. I was so impressed with the staff here and their thoughfullness in making sure the siblings feel comfortable.
So now Kaden and Avery have been up here a couple times and they love playing doctor. Kaden gives us all shots and medicine. Avery... well, she just likes to play peek a boo in the curtains. She's the "playful" nurse that keeps everyone happy. Those are very much needed around here, so I guess Avery does a great job!
I'm so proud of these little guys. It's hard to be moved around and away from your parents. They are so great. I am a very lucky mom to have all these great kids.

Things are looking up

Brighton got moved out of the intensive care yesterday afternoon!! YEAH!!!!
We are now up in the pediatric unit here at primary children's hospital. Yesterday was a great day for Brighton. He continues to do better with his breathing. He got off the heavy duty oxygen (high flow) yesterday morning and they put him on the normal oxygen. Once he could handle that, they moved him up to where he is now. Now today, they've decreased the oxygen support even more and took his feeding tube out!! Now is the fun job of trying to get him to nurse again after 4 days! He's doing pretty well with it though.
Speaking of nursing, this has been one of those things that has kept me laughing up here. I honestly feel like a cow going in to get milked. Since he's been on a feeding tube, I haven't been able to nurse him, so I've had to pump. They have these "pumping rooms" here at the hospital. You go in with your bag of parts, sit in a booth, close the curtain and hook yourself up to your milking machine. (mooooooo) j/k It makes me laugh, but I'm glad they've got a place to do that... it's just funny. Luckily there are things that can make you look on the bright side right?
I am so happy he's doing better. It was a couple pretty rough days for him and just yesterday everything started to improve. It's amazing how fast they can get sick and how fast they can start feeling better as well. Let's just pray he continues to do better so we can get home soon.

Life in the NICU

Brighton is doing a little better today! They were able to lower his oxygen amounts for most of the day yesterday which is great. Yesterday they put a feeding tube in him so he's getting some nutrition, but he's really hungry. When I hold him he's a little upset for a while because I think he "smells" me. Luckily he calms down so we can cuddle for a while. The best news we've had so far is that the respiratory therapist came in and took him off the high powered oxygen about an hour ago and now he's just on normal oxygen. If he can stay stabilized on that, then he'll get out of the NICU in a few hours and onto the normal floor! YEAH! We're thinking he's on the up hill side of this nasty virus now!

He's a tropper. We just love this guy so much!

Eventful Afternoon

What a day!
I first want to start off by saying, Everything is fine. But, I do have a story to tell.
I am sitting in the Pediatric Intensive Care Unit (PICU) at the Primary Children's Hospital here in Salt Lake City where we've been for the past 24 hours now. Brighton caught the nasty RSV and had to be hospitalized for the next several days. Not fun for our little guy that's for sure! I'll give you a rundown on how this all came about.
Yesterday afternoon I went in to our pediatrician for Avery's 2 year check up. While we were in the office, I just mentioned to the nurse that I was a little concerned about Brighton because he hadn't been eating very well and he wasn't having a lot of wet diapers. (He has had a cold the last couple days along with a nasty little cough, but everyone has a cold right now so I hadn't been too concerned. I mostly just wanted to know the best way to hydrate him when he didn't have a desire to eat much.)
Anyway, so the nurse thought it would be a good idea to check his weight and listen to his chest. I got him undressed and when the doctor came in, she listened to his chest and immediatly said he sounded like he had RSV, but she wanted to do some tests to make sure. RSV isn't a huge deal for older kids, but since Bright's only 5 weeks old, it's a little more serious. So, they took Brighton in the other room to do some tests while the doctor finished up Avery's well care visit. (Here's where it gets interesting). So Avery was checked off with a clean bill of health, and then she got the dredded shots. She was a trouper though! As I was cuddling her after her little pokes, they brought Brighton back in and started checking his oxygen levels because he was taking some pretty deep breaths. Well, to make a long story a little shorter, he wasn't breathing well. He was way below what was normal so the doctor started talking to me as calmly as she could and explained that his oxygen levels were not very good and that he'd need to go to the primary childrens hospital and they had already called an ambulance to take him up there. I was in shock! I had just brought Avery up so they could tell us how healthy she was and I was leaving in an ambulance with a different kid! Ahhhhh!! Luckily Brian's mom works minutes away from the doc's office, so I hurried and drove Kaden and Avery over there and I rushed back to the doctors just in time to see my little guy strapped on a stretcher in his car seat and oxygen blowing in his mouth. OH MY GOSH!! He looked so tiny and helpless. I think I was in too much shock to cry. So off we went into the fire truck... lights and sirens in all.
So here we are a day later. He still can't get enough oxygen on his own so he's got oxygen helping him breath. He's got a feeding tube in his nose and all sorts of other wires attached to him in various places. He goes through good and bad moments, but for the most part he sleeps through it all.
I am so grateful to have a hospital like this one here and available to us. As scary as it is to see your little guy hooked up to tubes and need help breathing, it's nothing in comparison to what most of these kids are going through up here. I feel truly blessed that our "adventure" in the NICU is only for a few short days and that he will come back home healthy and happy. I think that's a luxury alot of these other mom's don't get to have.
We'll keep everyone posted. I'll posts some pictures tomorrow.

I'm "Cheww"!!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY AVERY!!!




Today was Avery's birthday and we had such a fun weekend. I can't believe my little girl is two years old. It seems like just yesterday she was this tiny 5 lb baby with loads of hair. She's still got loads of hair, but oh how she's grown. It's been an awesome couple years with her. She ALWAYS keeps us on our toes, as well as keeps us laughing with her fun personality. I often am calling her a "monster" or a "crazy child", but I wouldn't have her any other way. She is a free spirit with a loving personality. I adore her with all my heart. I am in awe with how much she has learned. She is talking so much right now. As the title of this blog says, "I'm Cheww!" I wish you could hear her say it, it's so cute! She's been very proud to be 2 years old.
We had a great party with her grandparents on Saturday night. Avery is obsessed with "Shishees" (fish) right now, so Brian bought her an aquarium for her bedroom. She also got a "shishee cake". I think the high light of the party was her little bike and the indoor trampoline... (I know.. what in the world was I thinking when I bought that?) Kaden was just as excited about that as she was. When she opened it he said, "Look Avery, it's a present for both of us!"
We love our little Avers. She brings out the "girl" in me. I treasure the moments when I get to spend time with just her reading books or cuddling in my bed before the day actually begins. She's our little "bug" are we are completely in love with our precious "wild child".

Tagged

If I tagged you here's what you do. Post the words in all caps below and fill in info about yourself. Then, at the end you tell who you are tagging & go and tag 5 friends on their blogs. It's just a way to get to know fun little things about people.

TEN YEARS AGO......
I had been home from my mission a few months and I was going to the University of Utah majoring in Speech Pathology. My social life was at the LDS Institute where I was in their show choir "Encore". (Yes... I was once part of a "sparkly vest club", Brian and I had just broken up (Super Bowl Sunday) after many years of being together. It sucked, but had to be done so I could realize how great he really was. So, I was dating around, going to school, working at Murdock Travel in the accounting department. I went to Europe with a girlfriend, got my passport stolen (story for another day) and got back together with Brian 8 months after we broke up (Yeah!)

FIVE PLACES I HAVE LIVED.....
Idaho, Tennessee, Utah, Oregon, Arizona

FIVE THINGS ON MY TO DO LIST......
Finish a wedding cake, deliver a wedding cake at 4:00, clean my house, go get more diapers, get dressed!

I ENJOY.....
Hanging out with my kids and laughing at the funny things they do, going on dates with Brian, blogging, reading (that's a new one for me!), sitting in a bubble bath, pedicures, hiking, boating, going on vacations, 1000 thread count sheets

THREE BAD HABITS.....
Leaving diapers on the floor (I know it's gross... I always get distracted), eating too many sweets, biting my fingernails

FIVE THINGS YOU MIGHT NOT KNOW ABOUT ME.....
Used to be a "Theatre" major in college, Have a wedding cake business, I once waterskiied from Bullfrog marina to Rainbow Bridge at Lake Powell, I used to be a major tom boy (my "Martha Stewart" personality only surfaced about 6 years ago) and I love to do things for other people (got that from my parents... thank you guys)

FIVE JOBS THAT I HAVE HAD.....
Lion House as a cook & hostess, worked in a tech lab in college, Murdock & Starbird Travel, Jordan Valley School, and of course being a mom (this one's the best for sure!)

What will be going on in 10 years
Now this is a scary one. I have a hard time thinking my kids going to be going to kindergarten soon, let alone that he will be the yucky age of 14!! Oh the joys of puberty. Avery will be 12 and starting Young Women (Ahhhhhh!!!!) and Brighton will be 10. Oh my gosh.. this frieks me out even typing it. As for me, I hope to finally be at my goal weight, have run a marathon, and have a fully functioning kitchen in my basement for my cakes. Brian and I will have gone to Europe (if all plans are on schedule) and hopefully have purchased a time share somewhere. I'll be in my 40's and I pray we all have good health. Wow... a little wierd to think about this. We should all put this one in a time capsule and open it together in 10 years to see what really happened.

So there you have it. A little bit about me. So I tag......
Jenni, Jesse, Annie, Kristy, Crystal, Heidi, Megan and Amber (Anyone else who wants to join in the fun)

A Valentine to You

My Best Friend

With it being valentines day and all, I thought I'd pay tribute for a second to my very own "valentine" (ahhhh, cheezy).
We were with some friends this weekend and after we got home, Brian said to me, "You can tell Jon and Emily are best friends". I thought about what an awesome compliment that was and it made me reflect on our own relationship over the past 15 years we've been together.
We started out as friends and I truly believe that is what kept our relationship from not falling apart. Brian has a great sense of adventure as many of you know, and he introduced me to so many things that have now become a huge part of who I am. So many of our dates were hiking up in the mountains. When you've got a couple hours just walking in the beautiful wasatch, there's not much to do besides talk (and make out every once in a while too!). We spent so much time talking about everything we could think of. I really think he's got me figured out more than I have myself figured out and it probably stems back to all the times we were alone together in the mountains.
Aside from our love for hiking, we also did so many other fun things that helped us become best friends. We always tried to be creative in our dating. Dinner and a movie were fun every once in a while, but bungee jumping, boating, skiing, and countless school dances were even better. There were times we'd just make some treats and take them to our relatives who were alone. It was moments like these that I knew he was the best friend I had ever had.
As time passed by, there were very few days we didn't see each other or talk on the phone. We survived going to seperate high schools, seperate colleges and even two missions. There was a time after our missions that we broke up for a few months and I think it was then that I realized how much his friendship meant to me.. He had been my best friend for so many years, and when we broke up, it was him that I felt I needed to go to for a shoulder to cry on, but I couldn't. I had no one to talk to.. It was hard few months but crucial for me. I finally realized what a priceless individual he was and how lucky I had been to have such a good man in my life. Once I realized that, we were married shortly after.
We have had so much fun together, worked hard and struggled together, and have had children together. I can't imagine my life without him and thank God each day that I am married to such a patient, understanding, selfless man.
When I look back at all the "fun and adventurous" things we've done, it makes me realize that those are the things that can keep our relationship at it's highest potential. But I also realize that when reality kicks in, the fun and adventurous side of me is put on the back burner and I don't make it a priority.. I appreciate moments like Valentines day, or seeing examples of friends who remind me how important it is to have a loving "friendship" with your spouse. Brian is my very best friend. I love him so much, and I could only hope that when people see us together, they too could look at us and say, "you can sure tell they are best friends" It's that type of relationship that will carry us through, so that in 30 years when all the kids are out of the house, we will have things to talk about, enjoy the silence, and cherish that we still can enjoy cuddling on the couch together... maybe still enjoy a little make out session in the canyons!
I love you Brian. You are the best thing that has ever happened to me.
Happy Valentines Day.

ROCK ON!!

So we were in the car going to Brian's parents house tonight and Kaden said, "Mom, do you know what this means?" (as he holds his hand up and shows me the rock on sign) Here's how our conversation then preceded to go:

Mom: "I don't know what it means?"
Kaden: "It means Rock On!"
Brian: "What does Rock On mean Kade?"
Kaden: "It means when someone says something to you, you hold your hand up like this
and say "Rock On!"

(At this point there is a lull in the conversation for a minute)

Kaden: Hey mom... I can even do it!
Mom: "Do what Kade?"
Kaden: "Rock On.... See?"
(I look back to see him rocking back and forth in the back seat)
Soon enough Kaden and Avery were both in the back seat "rocking on"!!!

SOOOOO FUNNY!!! I LOVE THE THINGS KIDS COME UP WITH!!

Creative Time

Since Brighton has been born, we haven't gotten out much.. This has led to many a creative moments at home!! We've had fun doing all sorts of great stuff. Reading books, watching movies, coloring pictures were fun for a while, but started getting the "been there done that" attitude. So we decided to spice it up a little bit! From "Shaving Cream Art" to homemade mini golf in our family room... we've had lots of fun the last few weeks.

Brighton 3 Weeks Old

Here's our little guy. He's getting bigger each day. He's also more alert when he's awake which is fun.
I may not be the best mom for saying this, but I really think babies are the most
UN-photogenic beings on this earth. It is next to impossible to get a picture that is truly photo worthy until they are a few months old. But for posterity sake, I've got to have a few of him now while he still has the zombie stare most of the time. So here he is...so cute while I was taking these pictures, but none of them turned out as cute as he really looked. Oh well... the joys of newborns.
He's still pretty adorable, even if the pictures don't prove it!

Identity Crisis

So as you can see, we've got a little bit of an identity crisis going on at our home right now.
As you can see beautiful little Avery in her very "girly" dress looked so cute on Sunday. When we got home from church, she turned into Lara Croft... She was running around the house going "boom, boom, boom" and chasing Brian and Kaden with a gun!! (Just when you think they are going to be so petite and feminine)


Now for Kaden...
Here's the thing. I don't usually enjoy painting my sons fingernails, but Avery was getting her weekly manicure (see... she's really girly most of the time). And Kaden came in and said, "I sure wish my fingers were red". I tried to explain that only girls got their fingernails painted but he continued to tell me how much he loved red. So we decided to give it a shot. So there we were... Kaden sitting on the table, me painting MY SONS fingernails and toe nails (Oh dear)... As he was about done, I told him he couldn't touch anything because his fingers were still wet. The first thing he said, "But mom... how will I push my dump truck?"
At least I know he's still mostly boy. Infact, after he had the nail polish on for a few hours I think he realized it wasn't all that cool and he wanted it taken off! Thank goodness!!!

Jack Johnson

OK... so I know I just posted a somewhat lengthy thought on how much I love my family... but on a more worldly note.
Does anyone else think Jack Johnson is a babe? I was just watching a video on him from this "green" newsletter I get and my gosh he's hot.

(Of course, not as hot as Brian :) .. love ya best!!)

Gratitude

This post is mostly for me... a way to express my feelings so I won't forget them. You know... what I should use my journal for but then I'd have to dust it off!! Sooo... it's a long one.... you don't have to keep reading if you don't want to!

I've been feeling so much gratitude for the chance to be a new mom lately. I'm sure I felt this way with the other two, but for some reason it feels different with Brighton. Not that I love him more, but I think it's because I finally know what to expect. With Kaden I was a new mom.... terrified of how to take care of a new baby and how to "share" my love between Brian and a child. We had been married 5 years before we had Kaden and had dated several years before that. We had never had to share eachother before. As soon as he came, we loved him immediatly, but it was still unknown territory. A lot had to be learned.
Then with Avery.. I was once again worried about loving her as much as I did Kaden. I had almost 2 1/2 years to have all the one on one time I wanted with Kaden and I was afraid I wouldn't be as good as a mom when there was another one in the picture. Soon I found out that once again I didn't have to split my love between 3 people now... somehow my love just grew. It's true Avery hasn't gotten as much one on one time as Kaden did, but it hasn't really mattered. She still feels just as loved and magically I'm able to give them each personal time when they need it.
When I became pregnant with Brighton, it was a big shock. With Kaden we had to do fertility drugs, with Avery... it took nearly 2 years, and with Brighton... well... Suprise!!! Needless to say, I was too shocked to be happy about it for a while. I like things planned out and on my terms (I'm learning that isn't the way Heavenly Father does things.. I know, I'm slow) So it took me several months to get excited about having another child. How was I going to handle 3 kids? But then he came. I knew (from experience) that I would love this kid as much as my other kids, and that somehow this new little baby would even make me love my other kids and my husband even more.... (again... the love grows, it's never divided). I find myself in awe with the amount of love I have for this little guy. I treasure the moments when it's quiet in the house and I just sit and cuddle with him. My heart melts when he stares up at me or when he turns his head to the sound of my voice. What is it about a newborn that makes you obsessed with kissing them? We don't go around kissing other people a thousand times a minute! But when I'm holding him, I can't help but kiss his little head, hold his hand, or just stare. I am truly in awe by this tiny little guy and that I'm blessed enough to be his mother.
Then I look at my other two kids. I notice Kaden and his ability to keep Avery entertained when I can't. I don't ask him to, and he doesn't even know he's doing it, but it's as if he KNOWS that I need the help. I watch him coloring or playing with his cars or listening to his stories and am blown away that he's growing up. It wasn't too long ago that it was him in my arms. He is one of the kindest, compassionate, sincere people I have ever met and he's only 4 years old. I learn alot from him each day.
Then there is Avery. For the first time in her life, she's actually wanting a little more of my attention. She's always had a more independant personality I'm sure she gets from me (her stubborness also comes from me as well). But lately she'll come up on the couch and cuddle while I read her a book, or she'll crawl in bed with me and just hang out for a few minutes. She too is growing up and it's as if I can see her personality develop like I'm watching a story unfold on a movie screen. She has this love for life and a determination about her that I know she will succeed. Yet, she has this loving and kind side about her that you can just tell that she cares about people. I don't know how many times I hear her say "a baby go?" and runs in my room to check to see if Brighton is alright. Then she'll say "baby nite nite". As much as I complain about her endless energy and personality... the truth is... she is an incredible little girl full of life and is always making us smile and laugh... isn't that what we wish we could be like to other people?
And last but not least, there's Brian. The one and only man who has ever had enough patience with me (except my own dad) to stick around. Some how he "gets" me.... often better than I "get" myself. I watch him be a dad and it makes me do a couple things... The first and most important is that I fall in love with him more and more each time he's wrestling on the floor with 2 kids jumping all over him (even if he's exhausted he still finds the energy to play) or when he's doing anything at all with the kids. From cuddling Brighton to launching rockets with Kaden and even trying to do Avery's hair so she looks "cute". He's the best. And I love him more and more with each act he does for and with his children. The second is because of the first reason. It's just that when I watch him with the kids, it makes me realize the importance of taking time out to "play". I've learned that from him and admire it so much. Who cares if the dishes aren't done in the sink and Kaden asks to play trains. What is more important? What does it matter if I answer my emails(or even post a message on my blog) now or wait until Avery has finished sitting on my lap while she looks at the family photos on our computer. Emails and blogs can wait... but she might not. As I'm seeing- they grow up so fast and soon the precious moments of her WANTING to sit on my lap will be gone. That's what I've learned from watching Brian... he always puts us first. And I love him even more because of it.
And last of all, I guess I've even learned a lot about myself. I've learned how much I love being a mom. I've learned that I have the power to control the feelings (for the most part) that are in my home. I also have to power to be the best I can be. I may not feel I'm doing enough... but if I remind myself that I'm doing my best, that will be enough. There are so many times I feel I need to do more, give them more of my time, teach and play with them more often, but the truth is... I'm at least doing it. Maybe not as much as I'd like to, but I am doing it and my kids aren't deprived. They know I love them and they are happy. Is there really anything else they need? Is all the other stuff really for them or is it just a way to help me feel better about my abilities as a mom? I don't know. But I DO know that it's a pretty great job most of the time and I think that most of us moms (and FOR SURE ALL OF YOU MOMS READING MY BLOG) are pretty darn good at what we do. We love our kids, we give them what they need and for the most part we really enjoy it. So this is a big THANK YOU for all you great moms out there that are learning and enjoying and loving your little ones every day just like I am. Keep up the great work and know that I am inspired by all of you as well. We can always learn so much from eachother!