It's been a pretty rough week for our family as well as one that has changed my life. I have been blessed this week by learning to love more, appreciate life's challenges for how they strengthen us and once again realize the importance of family.
Last Wednesday, my sister in law went in for her monthly check up to find out her little baby boy had no heartbeat. Since she was so far along, it was not a miscarriage, but a still birth. My heart ached for her and my brother as I thought of what they were going through. Not knowing how to show my love, concern and sympathy for them... all I could do is pray. What I gained from this experience is an overwhelming feeling of love for a little child that I never even met... one who changed so many lives and so many hearts in a life that never even breathed an ounce of this earth's precious air. His name is Matthew Keith Sohm. A name that stands for friendship and a love for all people. The name alone brings wonderful memories of good people from our past, but the name was not what brought that feeling of love into my heart. The love came from a small little boy.. who's hand didn't even wrap fully around my brothers finger. This little boy... Matthew Keith was not just an unborn fetus.. he is a boy. He is my nephew. He is a grandson, a cousin, a brother and most importantly.. a son. The world may tell us that it is not necessary to bury such a child... since he was never out of the womb alive... or that we he wasn't fully developed. But I am here to say otherwise. This little boy.. who left us before he even was here is a child with arms and legs, fingers and toes, a nose and a chin. His little body may not have been any bigger than a barbie doll, but his little spirit changed the lives of a whole entire family. He taught us how to love deeper and how to hold on to life in a better way. He gave us the desire to be a little better on this earth so that we may be able to be with him again. He taught us how important the gospel of Jesus Christ is in our lives and the knowledge that families are forever is what gives us strength.
I watched my brother and sister in law today at the graveside service we had for this precious little guy and was lifted up by their strength. In their humility and sorrow.. in the most darkest hours of their lives, they have rose above the pain of loss and pulled together in faith. They have been taught in quiet moments the purpose of family and know they have a loving Heavenly Father who is with them. I am comforted by them and realize that God DOES take care of us... especially through our trials. I can't imagine the loss that they have felt, but I know they are strong. I watched them today in awe by their unwaivering faith. They were not complaining.. "why me??" but they were thanking Heavenly Father for what they had learned this past week. I hope I never have to go through a trial like this, but I know I will go through trials of some kind. All I can do is pray that I will be as strong and inspiring as my brother and his family were during the hardest trial of their lives.
I love my family so much. I don't know what I would do without any of them.
To end this post.. I just wanted to remember some of the neat words that were shared by Tyler and Jana's kids this past week. I think they understand death so much better than we do. They never even got to see their brother, but that didn't stop them from loving him and understanding his place in their family.
Riley:
I'm sad too.. but it's a happy sad. Now he gets to go live with Heavenly Father.
(in his prayer the night they found out) "Heavenly Father, please let my baby brother sprit get back to you ok"
I love Matthew because he was the first in our family to die and go back to live with Heavenly Father"
Abby:
I love Matthew because he is the third brother in our family.
